As explained on the About page, my focus as The Belief Doctor®1 is to work with people and provide examples and information that reveals the power and productive benefits gained from combining "masculine" and "feminine" energies in one coherent approach to life, in all areas of life. This combination — of effectively combining both 'head' with 'heart' to enable intimate, powerful and rewarding personal, business and social relationships — is recognised by leading thinkers as being crucial to ease, wellbeing, intimacy, creativity, productivity, innovation, health, wealth, fulfillment and happiness.
In his Power of Polarity series of seminars, Tony Robbins explains that when we fail to master this approach, it
"gives us the greatest pain of any area of our lives ... when this area is not handled, it doesn't matter how successful you become in virtually any other area, you're going to have pain ... If you master this area of your life, this is the area where the highest highs are possible, an experience of life that is so high, so joyous, so ecstatic and so sustainable, if this area is mastered."
and
"Most of us feel more control of our own careers, we're in control of our own businesses. We know we can break through any obstacle, we can shape our destiny, we can make it happen ... (but this) is a hard area to make things happen."
Mastering this combination is not what most of us are taught. For example, most sales, management, self-development courses are focused on how to be more productive, effective, efficient and "successful", but few teach how to be spontaneous and intuitive, or how to "let go" and fall into love and life2. "Falling into life" takes courage to be both "masculine" (assertive, active, focused, results) and "feminine" (vulnerable, open, receptive and allowing)3. We're more and more prone to work hard, gain degrees or qualifications, invest wisely in order to get ahead. But few of us find the ability to let go and "make room" for the richer dimensions to life that lift and separate us from the humdrum, the routine ... and the emptiness.
" ... (there's) a lot of women in their early thirties coming with a list of achievements, of perfect choices they have made: the best school, wonderful job, they're exercising, they're slim, they have even a good partner, but they feel "we've done all the right choices, but we still feel empty."4
Women, as a general rule, gain value and a sense of self that is defined by their relationships (e.g. mother). One would expect that sense of needing enriching relationships (children) to peak in their thirties.5
Leading thinkers and physicists have confirmed this dynamic of combining both "masculine" and "feminine" as being crucial and the "only acceptable point of view":
"The only acceptable point of view appears to be the one that recognizes both sides of reality -- the quantitative and the qualitative, the physical and the psychical -- as compatible with each other, and can embrace them simultaneously."6
Princeton's Emeritus Professor Robert Jahn who ran the famous PEAR laboratory for nearly 30 years, explains the importance of combining masculine and feminine:
"When posed in polar opposition, whether within a single personality, or in the context of the ubiquitous interactions between the male and the female sexes, the failures of this interface are legion, legendary, and immensely destructive, both personally and socially. Yet, when deployed in constructive complementarity, the masculine/feminine integration within the individual can enable the highest creativity and personal satisfaction, and in the male/female partnership can generate some of the highest accomplishments, profoundest insights, and most beautiful resonances of human existence. In this form, it is probably the species' most powerful resource for spiritual as well as physical survival and evolution."
- 1. "The Belief Doctor" is a Registered Trademark of Stephen Pirie
- 2. This 'letting go' can take some interesting directions.
- 3. It's the vulnerable, open, spontaneous, accepting and allowing part that many men and Type A personalities have a great deal of trouble with. Micromanaging employees, friends, partners, children — grasping and controlling life — 'pushes' out the rich mystery, surprise, creativity and energy that is waiting to spring from within ourselves and others, and lead us to what we want
- 4. Renata Salecl - The Paradox of Choice, referring to comments by British Psychoanalyst Susie Orbach
- 5. Men, as a general rule, gain value and identity through function and purpose. That is, their identity is their function (e.g. lawyer, architect). More detail provided in the book "The Dynamics of Gender and Life".
- 6. Robert Jahn, Emeritus Professor, Princeton University, quoting Nobel Prize winning physicist Wolfgang Pauli, (in Jahn's paper "The Complementarity of Consciousness")
