Occasionally I get involved in deep discussion about life, the universe and whatever — especially the weird, nonsensical idea that we can "transcend the ego".
What I've come to recognise is that those who seek to control conversations and others can do so in very subtle ways.1
And one of the most devious ways is to assert that someone is stuck in their ego, as was levelled at me recently during a vigorous discussion with a friend.
What does being stuck in one's ego actually mean? When can we ever speak, live, and work without an ego?
If by ego we mean, in part, one's identity, character and personality, then what would it mean to be without any ego whatsoever? How would we interface, and interact with others in our communities if we could not identify ourselves; if we could not be seen or heard (all of which goes to help identify and individualise someone — thus, by default, establishing an identity that is part of any ego).
Even the mere act of walking around with a Hessian bag over our heads (to avoid any identification), while mumbling incoherently (a voice can help identify you), still would separate you out, and thus, by default, give you an identity. "There goes that mumbling nut who keeps bumping into things."
There's a lot of nonsense in new-age circles concerning the ego. Even the gurus get in on the act — inevitably to better their own ego. After all, would anyone take any notice of a guru who had no identity, voice, profile or individuality?
Hardly.
An ego by any other name still smiles like one.
But hey, let's assume we get to 'transcend' our egos. Okay, what does your daily life look like? Give me some details of how you would go about your day, interacting with others? Even in the middle of nowhere, with no one around, do you still think "I'll do _____, or _______", or "I'm hungry" or "I am happy". Whoops, ego again. Pesky thing this self-awareness, this "I am, therefore I think, and feel".
- 1. Example: a friend used to frequently assert that I was being defensive whenever I disagreed with him. It eventually occurred to me that it was his way of attempting to 'win' the argument ... by removing or disallowing any opposition to his ideas. Just recently (Tuesday) I was again having a vigorous discussion on things philosophical, when I was again was accused of being 'stuck in my ego'. Fortunately I had the good sense to ask, 'when it is not the ego?
